My personal favorites are bold.
| ALABAMA | Literacy ain't everything Ya want fries with dat? In God (and Bear Bryant and not necessarily in that order) We Trust |
| ALASKA | Come, freeze your butt off If We Didn't Pay People To Stay, We'd Be Greenland |
| ARIZONA | Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds |
| ARKANSAS | At least we're not Mississippi |
| CALIFORNIA | The Granola State Nobody's actually from here Fast reloading lanes available The really long state |
| COLORADO | Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here Official home of the winter ski bunny It's Hip to be Square |
| CONNECTICUT | Way too close to New York New York Is For Peasants |
| DELAWARE | You'll need a map to find us So close to Washington you can smell it |
| FLORIDA | The Gunshine State Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans go to die Senior citizen discounts available Come, enjoy the humidity The snow capital of the US We Take Geritol, Every Day |
| GEORGIA | Home of the Rednecks Gateway to Florida Confederate money welcome |
| HAWAII | Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over Book 'em Danno Tom Selik, Jack Lord, Don Ho - Paradise! Come, get lai-ed We're Just A Big Volcanic Rock With Good Waves |
| IDAHO | Ain't nothing here We don't care if you spell potato with an "e" Land of a billion "eyes" That Kooky Potato State Shaped Like A Spout |
| ILLINOIS | Land of the voting dead Gateway to Iowa |
| INDIANA | Home of David Letterman Hoosier Daddy? |
| IOWA | Just east of Omaha It's easy to spell |
| KANSAS | Hayfever capital of the Midwest Dole slept here There's no place like home Ya want flat, we got flat |
| KENTUCKY | Tobacco is a vegetable We're all related Gateway to Nashville |
| LOUISIANA | Swim the beautiful Bayou Cancer Alley's just a name, and names will never hurt you |
| MAINE | Go Away, Leave Us Alone You can spit on Canada from here |
| MARYLAND | If it weren't for Washington, you couldn't find us Not a Suburb of D.C. |
| MASSACHUSETTS | We'll Breed More Kennedys Than You Can Kill Home of the young girls from Nantucket, also the home of Ted Kennedy, hmmmm... |
| MICHIGAN | Land of the free, home of the Buick |
| MINNESOTA | Sure beats Canada Not Sweden, but we try to act like it For Sale |
| MISSISSIPPI | We're lucky we can spell it Why would you want to come here? |
| MISSOURI | Gateway to Kansas Here's mine, Show Me yours We're better than Illinois |
| MONTANA | Land of the Big Sky, and very little else We've got lots of 10'x10' shacks in the woods It's where you're wanted. At least our cows are sane. |
| NEBRASKA | More corn than Kansas Go to Kansas, turn north Eat Corn, Beat Oklahoma, Nothing Else Matters |
| NEVADA | More weirdos than Alaska (warmer too) 2 words - Death Valley 3:5 you'll leave broke We have our own nuclear testing site |
| NEW HAMPSHIRE | Like Old Hampshire, only newer About as exciting as Vermont We're The Upside-Down Vermont |
| NEW JERSEY | You have the right to remain silent, You have the right
to an attorney... Tell 'em Guido sent ya |
| NEW MEXICO | Lizards make excellent pets We have reservations Alien Welcome Center - Roswell |
| NEW YORK | At least we're not New Jersey! We're more than a big city; we're a state Like we CARE about a motto English spoken here; sometimes |
| NORTH CAROLINA | Five million people; Fifteen last names We're bigger than South Carolina |
| NORTH DAKOTA | We've Been Annexed By Canada and No One Noticed
The OTHER South Dakota |
| OHIO | Don't judge us by Cleveland Proud polluters of Lake Erie We're easy to spell |
| OKLAHOMA | We're OK, you're NOT! I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto |
| OREGON | As pretty as California but not as weird We're not named after a musical instrument You can see the sunset from here |
| PENNSYLVANIA | Cook with coal Free lub job with oil change |
| RHODE ISLAND | You Can Spit Across Our State Size ain't everything Nobody famous came from Rhode Island |
| SOUTH CAROLINA | Just south of North Carolina |
| SOUTH DAKOTA | Closer than North Dakota |
| TENNESSEE | The Educashun State Thank goodness we've still got Elvis A great fixer-upper |
| TEXAS | Si Hablo Ingles See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas! |
| UTAH | Our Jesus is better than your Jesus At least our sheep can't talk |
| VERMONT | Bet ya can't name 2 of our towns We're The Upside-Down New Hampshire |
| VIRGINIA | We Don't Know Anyone in West Virginia Please don't confuse us with West Virginia! |
| WASHINGTON | We like our state, so STAY OUT! Decaf??? Are You NUTS!!! |
| WEST VIRGINIA | Where "family values" has a different meaning |
| WISCONSIN | Land of funny accents. Say "Cheeeese" The Cheese Stands Alone |
| WYOMING | Where men are lonely and sheep are scared |