Funny Bumper Stickers

• Missing your cat? Try lookin under my tires!!
• Beauty is in the eye of the BEER holder
• BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore!!!
• Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink
• I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
• I said "No" to drugs, but they just didn't listen
• I'm just drivin this way to PISS you off!!!
• Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
• Don't steal!! The government hates competition.
• A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
• A bartender is a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• Anyone can give up smoking, it takes a real man to face cancer
• As a matter of fact I do own the road
• Be nice to your kids, they chose your nursing home.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• Consciousness: That anoying time between naps.
• Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail.
• Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
• Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
• Forget about World Peace, visualize using your Turn Signal!!
• Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
• Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
• Hard work has future pay off, laziness pays off now!
• Horn broker, Look For Finger!
• I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself
• I used to have a handle on life but then it broke
• I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in this car!!
• If at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished.
• Keep honking, I'm RELOADING.
• Life's a buffet, so eat me.
• Lottery, a tax on people who are bad at math.
• Montana-At least our cows are sane!!
• Mean people rule!
• Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check
• Prevent inbreeding: Ban Country Music!
• Reality?? That's were the Pizza guy comes from.
• Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
• There are 3 kinds of people; those who can count and those who can't
• There's too much blood in my alchohol stream.
• There's too much youth, how about a fountain of smart.
• Unless you're a hemoroid, get off my ASS!
• Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
• We're all born wet, naked, and hungry; then things get worse!
• Your kid may be a honor student, but you're still an idiot.
• Born free...taxed to death.
• IRS: We got what it takes to take what you got.
• It IS as BAD as you think, they ARE out to get you.
• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
• I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute!
• I took an IQ test and the results were negative
• If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic!!
• Out of my mind, back in 5 minutes
• I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing
• All men are idiots, I married there KING!
• Sometimes I wake grouchy, other times I let him sleep!
• I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
• It's lonely at the top but at least you eat better
• As long as there are tests, there will always be prayer in school
• GOD must love stupid people, HE made so many!!
• HELL was full so I came back!!
• Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
• Jesus loves, everyone else thinks your an asshole
• Jesus paid for our sins..Lets get our moneys worth!!
• Lord save me from your followers
• The more you complain, the longer GOD lets you live.
• When you do a good deed get a receipt, in case Heaven's like the IRS
• Beam me up Scotty, there's no virgins left
• Friends don't let friends drive NAKED
• I like every bone in your body, especially mine.
• My kid had sex with your honor student
• Smile, its the second best thing you can do with your lips
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine
• The sex was so good even the neighbors had a cigarette
• This isn't Burger King, you can't have it your way
• To all you virgins, thanks for NOTHING
• WANTED: Meaningful overnite relationship
• Wink, I'll do the rest
• Guns don't kill people, Postal workers do!
• Rainy days always get me down, automatic weapons always cheer me up
• WARNING! Driver only carries $20 in ammunition.
• Good Girls get fat, Bad Girls get eaten
• I got a gun for my wife, best trade if ever made!!
• So you're a feminist, isn't that cute.
• Sometimes I wake up grumpy other times I let him sleep
• My other car is a ZAMBONI!!
• NO, this is not an abandoned car!
• Clear the road, I'm SIXTEEN!!